Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
