Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize