You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
