I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
