New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize