I wish I could teleport
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
