I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
It's just like the Real World with babies
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
