Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
