when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
