Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
