The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
