you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
