I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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