this boner is exhausting
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
