Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize