why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just invented taco cereal.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
