What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
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Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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