I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
not ubering you a puppy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
