Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well you can't waste a boner
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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