Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
