need another drink. this is the easiest way
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize