Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize