if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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