I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
