is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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