your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
