i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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