So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
