Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
