have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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