yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
