I should be sponsored by Trojan
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
