With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
