So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
