Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
