I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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