fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize