Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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