I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
COCAINE IS GR8
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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