this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
