I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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