Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

  (212): View more from New York

  enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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  (610): how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam (212): enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening http://tfl.nu/wz05
  Replies (9) Good night (2180) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.

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  (636): 12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome. http://tfl.nu/wffb
  Replies (10) Good night (2795) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window

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  (501): Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window http://tfl.nu/m081
  Replies (12) Good night (1121) Bad night (2977)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?

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  (515): If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships. (641): Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump? http://tfl.nu/nlh0
  Replies (18) Good night (3371) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me

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  (716): I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me http://tfl.nu/kh9w
  Replies (11) Good night (723) Bad night (4403)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.

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  (716): God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them. http://tfl.nu/wqtw
  Replies (32) Good night (5444) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up

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  (720): I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up http://tfl.nu/nnr4
  Replies (5) Good night (3652) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.

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  (404): Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire. http://tfl.nu/nkea
  Replies (3) Good night (1083) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.

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  (503): She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist. http://tfl.nu/sycq
  Replies (2) Good night (1784) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday

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  (724): On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday http://tfl.nu/c6y1
  Replies (3) Good night (1470) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms

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  (707): Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms http://tfl.nu/5oim
  Replies (9) Good night (533) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why are you there anyways?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist

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  (313): Why are you there anyways? (248): Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist http://tfl.nu/9tvc
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.

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  (217): I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times. http://tfl.nu/aihm
  Replies (0) Good night (798) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.

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  (775): I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist. http://tfl.nu/2qn6
  Replies (5) Good night (449) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales

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  (978): Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales http://tfl.nu/1ec5
  Replies (1) Good night (1250) Bad night (733)

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