Swine flu. Run for my life!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".