Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.

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  (301): I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged. http://tfl.nu/aoku
  Replies (14) Good night (717) Bad night (3649)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

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  (907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs
  Replies (22) Good night (4438) Bad night (778)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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  (607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8
  Replies (18) Good night (7545) Bad night (1401)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.

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  (772): remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night. http://tfl.nu/s4kw
  Replies (11) Good night (3539) Bad night (1276)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"

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  (719): I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today" http://tfl.nu/2j14
  Replies (26) Good night (3164) Bad night (6376)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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  (973): A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ. http://tfl.nu/a72f
  Replies (6) Good night (5699) Bad night (1090)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.

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  (814): The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate. http://tfl.nu/mnoh
  Replies (9) Good night (834) Bad night (4109)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight

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  (623): We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight http://tfl.nu/am5b
  Replies (4) Good night (2496) Bad night (699)
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  (925): View more from California

  I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands

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  (925): I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands http://tfl.nu/dboa
  Replies (5) Good night (819) Bad night (2319)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often

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  (416): The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often http://tfl.nu/ivea
  Replies (7) Good night (2265) Bad night (722)
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  (415): View more from California

  Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.

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  (415): Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits. http://tfl.nu/q1hp
  Replies (8) Good night (824) Bad night (1384)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.

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  (414): What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess. http://tfl.nu/j346
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (993)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.

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  (704): Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom. (615): My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you. http://tfl.nu/pnfc
  Replies (3) Good night (901) Bad night (365)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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  (479): Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage. http://tfl.nu/89e2
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (367)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.

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  (262): Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly. (215): I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/r8y6
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (307)

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