But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
