Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the day after is always just damage control
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.