why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
