he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize