for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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