Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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