Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i came on her dog
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
