You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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