They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
