really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
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