on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
