Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize