Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
