Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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