...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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