is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
