U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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