We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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