I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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