Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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