We're like a lot better than the average bears
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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