After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
we're so committed to being not committed
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
