This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
