Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
