I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize