i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
