the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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